Top 10 SMU Confessions (2013-14 Term 1)

Unfortunately, due to time and technical constraints, a third-party can't produce an exhaustive report on the entire SMU Confessions posts of 2013 – it would take 3-4 hours to retrieve the entire year of posts – so presenting to you...

Highlights of SMU Confessions (AY2013-14, Term 1)

Top 10 (Most Likes)

567 — #20948

"This is a story about a dear friend of mine, Mou Sheng. He was smart, amazingly athletic, a filial son, a caring brother, a loving boyfriend, a fiercely loyal friend and a good, good man. Having known him since our secondary school days, i knew he was destined for great things."

502 — #16603

"Just broke up with the love of my life 2 weeks ago. We quarreled at the top of our lungs and it really got quite bad, even physical at one point. Yesterday I sat down with my godpa and poured out my heart. He then had this to say."

461 — #18683

"As it turns out, he had been suffering from leukaemia even before he met me. But it was in its early stages and he was told that there was a chance for recovery. But somewhere along the way, it took a turn for the worse and the doctor told him that he only had 5 months at best. That was when he decided to push me away, pretending to cheat on me with another girl."

445 — #16046

"I don't care if you are a chao mugger. I don't care if you hardcore CCA until cannot hardcore. I don't care if you pon class until prof don't know your name. but if you dump your part of the project to me,
you die.
I die.
everybody die."

304 — #21041

"Dear all,
I would like to share my experience with all of you. I used to be a gold digger, I have always wanted to have a rich boyfriend to drive me around, get me expensive gifts. Yes, call me materialistic or whatever, but hear me out."

295 — #20072

"Dear President, Provost, Deans, Professors,
As the semester comes to an end and exams are just round the corner, I regret to inform the school that I will not be taking my exams."

283 — #15367

"Dear all,
I'm an undergraduate in SMU. I'm Malay/Muslim. I'm your average girl. During my free time, I read and hang out with friends. Last, but not least, I'm lesbian. I wrote this potentially controversial piece because a friend was in distressed about reconciling religion and being LGBT. "

271 — #15962

"sometimes when we have run out of ideas on where to go, my girlfriend and I will head over to bookstores and flip some of the chinese assessment books there."

258 — #20637

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape."

257 — #20729

"Walk into exam hall with 'Don't Stop Believing' playing in my head.
Walk out with 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams'."

Top 10 (Most Comments)

48 — #19372

"Wow I had a totally sh!tty day. I’m currently taking a break to do a 6 month internship a global commercial bank. I’m currently assigned to learn from one of the directors - follow him around in meetings and experience what top management in a bank is like."

36 — #20776

"Looking for a guy with the following:
1) Tall, above 1.75cm
2) Smooth complexion"

29 — #20980

"The homosexual propaganda has to stop! Our birth rate is already low enough as it is and we don't need the homosexual lifestyle to lower it further. Let's prevent such rotten Western mentalities into our society! Before you know it, beastiality and incest will become a 'thing' too if you keep up with it. "

28 — #17423

"My boyfriend asked for the name of a girl I spoke to the other day, and suddenly he's starting conversations and interacting with her on social media platforms. Do I have to be worried?"

27 — #17466

"I was walking around town with my boyfriend today. Then this really tall and slim looking girl in a super tight and low cut dress walked past us. I caught my boyfriend taking a glance at her. "

26 — #15974

"Hi, just wanted to know a relationship between someone staying at Choa Chu Kang and another at Pasir Ris possible? If so please share how you would do it! (like seriously)"

25 — #16538

"SMU differentiates itself by being the university version of the "Apprentice". You learn to tackle your political challenges in office; you stand up and fight for your salary and bonus; you learn that there're no 100% enemies or friends in office. There's no high flatulence cause to fight for, just the size of your bottom line. At the end of the day, it pretty much boils down to how much bacon you carry home. "

24 — #15975

"Everyday in school is a torture. I have no friends, no ccas, bad results (i.e. below gpa 3), no boyfriend. I'm not rich as compare to my counterparts, i stay in hdb, i wear boring clothes to school, nobody ever look at me, nobody respect me, i dont like my major but due to financial constraints i cant afford to change school now or even study abroad, i dont even know whether i can do an exchange here. Life is miserable in SMU. Tell me what to do."

24 — #20562

"to D* X*** for SOL, oh my goodness, you're so handsome. whenever i see you in the library, my heart skips a beat. too bad you always seem to be surrounded by girls, approaching you seems so difficult. i'm glad i got to say hi that day tho (: you're facebook posts are the most hilarious and they really make my day."

23 — #17212

"I really hate it how people nowadays get degrees so easily. Some old folks still confuse smu and sim, despite sim degrees being so much easier to get. It feels like all those years I've put in for A'levels and Uni was for nothing."

Happy New Year! May the bell curve be ever in your favour.

For those curious, more precisely, this sampling is of 4454 posts from #15274 (Thursday, August 8, 2013, at 2:01am) onwards, and is brought to you by the Facebook Graph API, RestFB, and MySQL Connector/J. Some electrons may have been inconvenienced in the production of this report.

Written by cflee on Thursday July 3, 2014
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